Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Speaking on Modesty: Dressing A Young Girl in an Immodest World

 Thanks for joining this Lenten discussion! I'll be posting weekly thoughts by Catholic women and men who have something to share on modesty: what it is, how it's lived out, why it's important to them. I don't agree completely with all of these people, and I don't expect you to either; but I do want to open up a conversation. To make it easier, I've turned off the Capcha (you know, those horrible little letters and numbers you have to type to post a comment), so share your thoughts freely.

This week we're taking a more practical path in the modesty discussion. Danielle is giving a straight-forward 'how to'. What do you think of her perspective?

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I started to form my views on modesty while in college. I had grown up in public schools and was swayed by the secular ideas of fashion. I never “bared it all” but I didn’t give much attention to necklines or the tightness of my pants either. While in college, I went to the extreme and started an experiment of only wearing skirts. It was amazing to see the transformation in my own mind and of those around me. Doors were held open, I was treated with respect, and I started to embrace my femininity.

When our daughter was born in 2011, we knew that we wanted her to live a life of modesty from the beginning. We didn’t want the excuse “she’s just a little girl” to make it acceptable to wear really short skirts, tight pants, or bikinis. She does have a few pairs of pants in her wardrobe, but when she wears them, she complains of being uncomfortable or she spends the day trying to pull them up.

The current styles for young girls are not modest. The pants ride low, they’re really tight, and the skirts and dresses just barely cover their bottom. Shopping for our now almost 3 year old started out as quite the chore. I slowly learned a few tricks to make in an enjoyable and successful experience.

When I purchase skirts, they’re almost always a size or two larger than her current size. For example, she’s currently in a size 3. I would most likely buy her a size 4 or 5 to keep the length longer. I’m not talking floor length, just enough to actually have it reach her knees. Yes, 3 year olds wear skirts THAT short! If I can find a skirt with an adjustable waist, it’s always a sure pick! You can tighten the waist to better fit their size, yet enjoy the length of the larger size. It’s a win, win.

I buy summer and winter dresses in a size that are also long enough. I prefer to find dresses that require a shirt to be worn underneath. I am then able to have her wear long sleeve or short sleeve shirts. It keeps it versatile for the entire year, as long as the fabric and patterns don’t scream Christmas in the middle of summer. I also keep an eye out for dresses with a ribbon to tie a bow in the back. It’s perfect for cinching in the waist on a dress that’s just a bit too big.

It’s been a bit of an adjustment trying to find clothing for her to wear modestly that also allows her to keep some sense of style. I’m sure as she ages, it will become even more difficult. It’s a bridge we will cross as we get there.

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Danielle is married to her best friend, Nathan, and together they have three young children. She is a music teacher turned homeschooling mom. She has a passion for fun and creative ideas, a desire to feed her family delicious and nutrient rich foods, and loves to fill her mind with new information. You can follow her adventures at Raising Little Treasures.

If you've missed our earlier conversations:

Read Kate Madore's opening post on Modesty


  1. I can't stand the the tight jeans with "bling" and shorts with writing on the bottom--it's in such bad taste, in my opinion, not to mention immodest! I only have a little boy right now, but if I have a little girl I want her to look like a little girl, like your sweet daughter!


  2. Considerably this is the most difficult topic to talk on these days. Modest dressing for girls is like a dream for parents who usually expect to see their girls in it, but with the latest trend it seems quite impossible. As you are creating awareness about modest dressing, I would like to join your cause and do want to share a name of shop Leelach, where the Israeli women designers has design perfect modest clothing for girls. My thought of sharing this shop name is not for promotion as I don’t have any contact with them but came across while searching some modest trendy dresses. I just want to show all the girls that you can even look fabulous and grab attention of viewers in the modest dressing style too. Hope you understood my point.

    1. Zillah thank you! I DO understand your point, and I appreciate the recommendation! The clothes are lovely!

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