Life Updates

Until this past week, I've neglected this blog for over a year. I've missed writing out my thoughts here, and sharing my life with faraway friends in this way. And with a little bit of extra time know and the fresh motivation a new year brings - I think I'm ready to dive back into blogging!

What have we been doing this past year?

Well, homeschooling is an exciting new adventure! Yarrow and I are working through a blend of kindergarten and first-grade level work. Most of the inspiration and direction in our homeschooling has come from the Charlotte Mason perspective, specifically through it's Catholic interpretation in the Mater Amabilis curriculum. I've edited a bit to fit better with our life and views, but the tone is ideal and the philosophy of learning is so very inspiring! 

We focus a bit more on regular reading of the Bible, poetry, art, and music than the curriculum calls for, and I've adjusted the history reading to focus on Native American, pre-Columbian perspectives for our first term. I'm hoping in the spring to include some interesting perspectives on post-Columbian early America, but still appropriate for a 5 year old. So far we've enjoyed "If you lived with the Iroquois", "All Our Relatives", and "The Discovery of the Americas" - all of these books we read aloud at breakfast, along with the Bible, Sing-a-Song-of-Popcorn (poetry), our current art book, a saint story, and our catechism lesson (we're working with the Faith and Life series). We don't read anything but the Bible every single day, we switch it up. And after breakfast we work on Yarrow's reading practice. She's reading "Harry and The Lady Next Door" right now, and so proud of herself for being 'A Reader.'

Ilya loves the read-alouds in the morning, and during work times he can usually focus for a little while coloring his name, or another word in bubble letters, practicing colors - he adores purple! - and tormenting the dog.

* * * * 

Along with homeschooling, I'm working on building my own interior life. "Mother Culture" is what Charlotte Mason types call it. I didn't know it had a special name. It seems essential to all people..and so easily neglected by us all as well. 

I have been neglecting mine, but slowly I'm building it back up. 

As we're transitioning to our less consuming way of life, I'm reading Marie Kondo's "life-changing magic" book..or I was, until I lent it out. Now I'm reading "The Joy of Less" and trying to change my direction from someone who constantly buys and purges to someone satisfied with the things she has. Someone attracted to less. It's difficult. I find myself wanting to create a false sense of perfection by getting rid of everything and then buying in all sorts of attractive replacements, instead of being content and patient in the slow work of building my home. It's a challenge!

* * * * * 

And I've contacted a studio that will rent out kiln space to me! Since I still have no where to throw this winter, all that means is that I can fire the bisque-ware that is languishing in my shed. But I can fire them! And perhaps I can get my wheel fixed up, cleaned off, and going again! 

* * * * * 

I read somewhere...and have absorbed the quote, if not the author..that "the gospel is never good news unless it is subversive." 

And with all my notebooks and planners, daily things, schooling, baking, reading, and praying.. that is the end goal. Subversion. To change the world from my own hidden corner of it. That my faith might find it's way up into the sunlight and alter the landscape. It's an exciting goal.

* * * *

Where are you in life these days? What has changed since we last connected? What are you doing, and where are you going? I would absolutely love to know.

Funding the Bohemian Life: Figuring out Financing..

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

                                                                                                             ~Oscar Wilde

There's a reason so many artists die penniless.

A few reasons:

We don't live within our means..not really..and we're not really going to change that, ever, I think.. too much imagination, too many dreams.  

We don't have 'the Protestant work-ethic'..whatever it is exactly, it isn't ours.

..which isn't a bad thing, really!

We have a work ethic all our own, and it's definitely not consistent..in fact, too often it boils down to never putting off "til tomorrow, what I can possibly do - the day after!" (Oscar Wilde again, isn't he lovely!)

Sari-fabrics make great Easter dresses!

Right now, I'm living in a strange, hybrid world..the bohemian in me throws her finances to the wind and stocks her cabinets with wine and chocolate, forgetting entirely the carefully planned out grocery list that the homesteader in my put together that morning.

We talk to friends about their healthy lifestyles and plant-based diets, wonder if we ought to order our lives more self-reliantly, and then break the budget on sari-fabrics from India and flowers for the house and altar.

I won't change, not much anyway..I like myself. I have no desire to sacrifice the beauties of life for sustainable living or a large savings account..but whenever sustainability and bohemia cross paths, I'm completely on board! Home-made body care products and shampoos, definitely! Locally roasted fair trade coffee, obviously! Calm evenings playing cards at home, or home-made clothes (with little amber beads stitched on, please!), or bookish afternoons, or home gardens..yes!

But limitations...

eh...not so much.

I hate limitations. My besetting sin is, I think, gluttony..I go through life like a giant mouth, tasting everything..and no, gluttony is not a goodness, but it's flip side, abundance, is!  Abundance is something essential to living well, I think. Something that can be found among the careful, self-reliant homesteaders - the old-time puritans who earn as much as they can, and save as much as they can, so that they can, later, give as much as they can - but it's also something that is happiest pouring out carelessly, counting on God to keep it above water and trusting love to survive..

All that doesn't really help me figure out my finances..but it brings me joy to think about. I'm neglecting our May budget to write about why I'll write it knowing it will sit, unheeded, on the desk all month..but I will write it, because really, the only thing more fun than making laws is breaking them.

St. Nikolas

Yesterday was ideal for walking in the mist. It hung heavily among the trees, making little paths appear, where no paths are on bright days, and playing tricks with the light. I would have liked to walk deep into the woods, following the mist and losing myself in the frost-painted ferns, but Luba was uneasy, she thought she saw things, and hunted for scents all afternoon, which made me uneasy - maybe there was something out there, lurking. A stray hunter, the neighbor dog who likes to wander, or something more. I stuck close to home and started a Danish pastry, insulting Luba’s nose but obeying her warning all the same. The rain came at night. It sounds so mournful, but I’m grateful it’s warm enough for rain - not ice or snow.

 

Today I’m practicing croissants again, along with the Danish. I made a batch last week that were good, but missing out on some of the flaky lightness, the new batch is on it's second turn. My husband is thrilled. He loves when I'm working on a recipe again and again.

 

St. Nikolas brought Yarrow a pair of new black shoes, she spent the morning stomping around in them and admiring herself in the mirror. He brought me two boxes of tiny red candles to make the season bright. Last night was our biggest success so far with night-weaning Yarrow, I'm thrilled with the hope that someday in the not-too-distant future my nights will be broken only by the stove and my own restless thoughts.

Sunday

Autumn Rain…

We’re spending the day inside listening to it, and to crackly opera on the little radio. I made blackberry vodka before the season ended for us to sip on days like this.

The stove is one, the house is cozily messy. I have plans to write when Petka naps, and plans to clean when inspiration hits. But inspiration rarely hits on rainy Sunday afternoons, and my cleaning can wait ‘til tomorrow.

I want to but a whole pile of books online and walk to collected them as they trickle in, one brown package after another. Then read them slowly in the dim evenings.

Letting Go

Everyone has a different thresh-hold for things. When what fills our house turns to clutter I lose the ability to see individuals in the crowd and begin filling big black bags with whatever I lay hands on. I’ve had to fish the checkbook out of the recycle bin before, one of my husband’s paychecks out of the trash, and just recently I almost donated my favorite black skirt because it’d gotten lost in the pile of rejected clothes. I’ve definitely regretted some of my purges - like the time I decided I would only buy records, and tossed all my cds, or the time I decided to give up makeup entirely. My enthusiasm gets the better of me sometimes; when I come to my senses I mourn my losses and move on, my memory isn’t good enough to mourn lost things for long.

      I like to purge my home seasonally. This autumn’s purge began yesterday, when I broke yet another wineglass and felt the need to clean and organize the rest of them. So far I’ve dumped a teapot that leaks, a dish Yarrow broke, five books I hate that have been taking up space in my shelves for a year, a collection of bent nails, and a few pans that didn’t store well in the shed. I love rediscovering my things when I purge, I have about a dozen frames in the shed, just waiting for pictures. I’m looking forward to making space for them in the yurt and in the kitchen.

Wasting time..

I am obviously not cut out to be a daily blogger. Even with an internet connection at home. It’s not laziness, thought, really.

I’ve been doing a lot: baking (sweet potato pie today!), I really feel like I'm getting the hang of the oven,

Extending the pig’s pen (that’s right. I built that extension. With only Yarrow and Luba to help, and all Luba did was to rile up the pigs and trip Yarrow.

Stacking firewood with Petka helping out. That girl's going to be running her own homestead in another year. She's sweeping floors, putting away clothes, 'feeding' the stove, and hauling wood..she doesn't do any of it particularly well, but she does it all!

Hanging herbs,painting, running, and whatnot - my days go by quickly!

Autumn

This morning I lit the stove to drive away the chill. It isn’t cold enough yet to keep the stove going all night, but the mornings have needed heat. This is the earliest we’ve started burning since moving out here, usually it’s closer to the end of the month, or even into October when we start wanting morning fires.

I did little else though. Petka refused to nap, and she was so delightfully happy I couldn't work up the need to try to force a nap. Now it's too late to nap, and she's running around in pink and white. Falling, laughing, and getting up again. Carrying books from the shelf to her father and back again.

I brought in most of the laundry my husband hung to dry while I was away, walked for the mail and watched Luba chase grasshoppers around the yard. We picked tomatoes and poppies and smiled at the sunflowers. I love being home.

July

Simplicity

This article has given me a lot to think about in the building of our domestic monastery. I am taking much of his advice, working with each suggestion, one after the other, as they relate to our life here, and our goals for life and land. His first suggestion: make a list of the four or five “most important things” - values, goals, priorities. What are they, and how are they placed in my life?

1. God. My primary value, goal, and priority is relationship with him. Now, and ongoing.

2. My family falls right below God. But what does that mean, exactly? I mean that my relationship to my husband, our life together is something I value more than anything but my relationship to God. Along with that - a part of it, and only slightly below it is my relationship to my daughter. The whole of it, our family life together, our shared solitude and shared community are priorities in my life, and I work hard to make them living priorities.

3. Beauty. A quick description would be that this is my commitment to building a life that embraces and nourishes beauty in the world. A clean home, a life full of books, and growing things, time for play all fall into this.

4. Art. Sort of a sub-group of beauty, but with a need to carve out a space of it’s own, art refers primarily to my writing and pottery goals.

5. Building a natural, semi-self-sufficient life. The homestead, gardens, animals, herbalism, food and fabric. Hugely time consuming, I know, but it isn’t time spent on nothing, it’s time spent enjoying my land, growing it, nourishing it, and crafting it into a thing of beauty.

My "New" Machine

Guess who doesn’t have to do all her sewing by hand anymore!!

Me. That’s right.

 This beautiful sewing machine belonged to my grandmother, and it’s actually still in perfect working condition. I’ve never sewn on a treadle before, and when we first set it up, I was a bit overwhelmed by the difference. It takes more focus, and more hand-eye coordination than I usually have, but after a hot Sunday afternoon of practice, I’m doing well! Now I have to find all my fabric and get started on all the little projects I’ve been putting off for months.

New Rugs

My husband has an amazing talent for finding things. We’ve been looking for a few thick rugs ever since we’d moved into the yurt, but rugs are expensive, and it’s hard to find rugs I like - bright, thick, and lived-on. Last week he found three of them. Big, braided rugs; clean and bright and full of potential. The biggest one is my favorite, we spread it out beside the desk and altar, to make a perfect space for playing, and for cutting fabric.

With Yarrow’s toy basket, her little chair, and my big rocker, it makes the house look even cozier! I'm ready for next winter now, at least as far as rugs go.

May work

Pursuing Domesticity

“You must find the confidence for everything..otherwise you will pass life and yourself by.”
   ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I have many domestic goddesses among my friends. They are a constant source of inspiration for me, and a constant source of inspiration for me, and a constant reminder that I do not rank among them. My home gives me joy - making it a haven for my husband and daughter is something I am always attempting, but I’ve discovered that I’m not naturally domestic - too inclined to lose myself in books and daydreams, too addicted to cozy mornings in bed, too forgetful, too easily distracted. Domesticity is something I have to pursue each day - when I remember - like holiness, like beauty. It’s something that requires more effort than I give it, and I am forever trying to reclaim lost ground. Domesticity is something which calls me out of myself and out of my warm bed on late nights and early mornings to the home-fire burning, to comfort my daughter, make coffee and set out hot oatmeal in the cold pre-dawn. When I fail, when I forget or forgo for my own comfort, I know the coming day has been damaged in some inner way. I regret the lack and move on, sweeping up dirt, stoking the fire and embracing once again the life I love - one that gives me each moment to cherish as they flow by.

Photos from Life

I love our little wood wine-box shelves. They make happy

little shrines for daily things.

Dried tea and seeds waiting for spring.

We have so much less snow this year! I'm grateful for what we have,

and even more grateful we don't have any more!

Tassels in the light. This shawl hangs over one of the windows. I love it.

New Year

We went out to Michigan and Ohio for New Year's, to visit family and stand as godparents for our good friends' new baby. The drive out was long, but Yarrow and Luba handled it well - sleeping a lot and giving us long stretches of drive time. We leave tomorrow for the drive home, I plan to be off early in the morning and be well into the drive before the sun rises, which out here isn't too difficult, the dawn is a good hour and a half later.

It's been a good trip, but I'm missing home more and more. The Christmas octave is my usual time to purge the house of excesses, to better incorporate gifts and keep the cozy winter atmosphere going. I know our tree needs water, and our chickens would like a chance to get out and scratch at the frozen ground. I know the house-spiders have been making cobwebs across the dome, and I'm looking forward to the scent of woodsmoke on my clothes again.

I'm looking forward to the drive as well. I love long drives with my husband. I love the frequent stops for truck-stop coffee and the radio stations that come and go as we pass through town after town.  But first I need to sleep off a late New Year's eve, reconnect with some old friends, and give long-delayed birthday gifts to my brothers.

Prettiness

A success. The photos aren't amazing, but I'm thrilled to have all my medicines in one place, labeled and in plain sight.