Lenten Fasting series, part 1

                                                                                                                                            -by Seth

     Boredom is the enemy of fasting. I find it virtually impossible to stick to any kind of regimen (rigorous or otherwise) if lots of aimless downtime is involved. I don't mean leisure or relaxation, I mean meaningless time, time with nothing to fill it except, oh, hey look, food! And worse than boredom itself is the prospect of boring food once a meal comes.

     Of course, I'm not arguing that food should be an overwhelming focus during a period of fasting; that would undermine the whole concept of why deprivation is spiritually beneficial. But one consequence of deprivation is that it makes a min-feast of each meal, a sacred refreshment in a bleak wilderness. And with any feast, intentionality is key. Banquets don't just happen, they are prepared. Lenten meals are no less important than Easter ones, perhaps they are more so as they occur outside that seasons' bounty. And so they should have their fair share of ritual, from the type of food, to the frequency and presentation.

     The Church provides some beautiful guidelines for certain days (Ash Wednesday, Good Friday) but there's no impediment to applying those principles more liberally. Having varying degrees of severity and leniency that ebb and flow with rhythm throughout the season help re-focus fasting the way the pattern of a rosary focuses prayer. Not to mention it's far easier to maintain a fast with particular rules rather than a vague (and easily rationalized) "giving up" of various foods. For one thing, the body is allowed to view meals as small but regular feasts, their content varying but predictable, and spend less time fretting about when or what to eat. For another, there is less temptation to "cheat" if each day offers different reliefs from monotony.

     As a concrete example, this is the schedule for an average (in severity, not necessarily in number of people practicing it) Byzantine fast:

                                                      No meat, dairy, or eggs (unofficially sugar as well,
                                                      it's just not spelled out) throughout the entirety of Lent. 
                                                     Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays also remove 
                                                     wine and oil; while Saturdays and Sundays add fish. 

     It's somewhat easier to understand in graph form:

     Pretty bleak, no? But that's only because there wasn't enough room to list bread, grains, vegetables, fruits, and oreos, which technically fit all the requirements except sugar. 

     The point, though, is that there's a pattern; on Sunday fish, oil, and wine are on the menu (tell me that doesn't sound good), followed by a bleak Monday, while Tuesday offers back oil and wine but no fish. Repeat the on-again, off-again until the weekend, which is pretty much a bright beacon of culinary goodness. And Easter itself… well, you have no idea how good havarti can taste after that long. Stringent, perhaps; but boring? Never. 

Mardi Gras..

I feel sort of surprised by Lent this year. Maybe because the weather still feels like early January - all deep freezes, blizzards, and ridiculously cold nights. February should be warmer, just a bit. 

But tomorrow we step into the fast - ready or not - and while I'm not feeling 'prepared,' I'm not exactly knocked off balance by it either. I have happy plans for lentil stews, na'an, oranges, and excessive amounts of tea. I don't know if I'll be able to really enjoy black coffee this year. I haven't been able to drink it black at all this pregnancy, and so I'm planning to just switch to tea for the season. Raspberry leaf tea, fenugreek tea, green tea, smokey tea, jasmine tea, and nettle tea..with honey. Honey is always permitted.

Seth stayed home just a little longer this morning to treat Yarrow and I to home-made espresso drinks: a cappuccino for me and a mocha for Yarrow, as well as an americano for himself. It was an ideal start to the day!

I few people have asked if I'll be keeping the fast pregnant and postpartum. I really don't see any reason not to, I mean, the food we fast with is nourishing, warming, healing, and good. I'll be making lots of soup soon, to have in the freezer for directly post-birth, and stocking up on almond and hazelnut milk for my amazing cardamom-saffron milk - which I'm determined to have frothed and steamy by my bedside after labor. But I don't see a need to indulge in meats and things..Lent is still Lent, after all. I'm 'playing it by ear' though. If I feel the overwhelming need for massive quantities of raw, Jersey milk and scrambled eggs..I'll give in. But I expect the soups will satisfy. 

We're expecting snow again for Ash Wednesday. It's possible I'll get no ashes this year. Kind of an appropriately penitential start to the season, really. I'd like to go, but I'm prepared for a long day at home. Computer-less, I'm thinking, because I really ought to deny myself social media for the day. Perhaps Yarrow and I will focus on setting up the altars, offering prayers, and nurturing each other into the fast.

Holy Week in Pictures..

 

 

 

 

Jesus at the table

Fixing Mama's necklace

Changing the oil in the motorcycle

..and a peak at Yarrow's Easter dress!

Today

Feeling..tired and crabby. Luba has been crabbing around the house all day, curling up on the couch, trying to sneak onto the bed, stealing Yarrow's bread with honey..while Yarrow's been getting oatmeal in my hair (how? Why?), pushing computer buttons while I type, and eating unnatural amounts of oatmeal. I'm on my third pot of tea, trying to forget the package of smoked salmon in the freezer and the reasonably good foccacia in the cabinet. Instead, I'm purging. The 40 bags in 40 days challenge is sort of a fun side project this Lent. We want to pare down our possessions, and Lent is such an ideal time for it - but I can't get rid of books..the books I don't read much, don't love, or love too much and need to wean myself from are moved to the outhouse - where they're easily accessible, but not too easily accessible..

Seeing..Yarrow's defiant little butt in the air. She's crabbed her way into a nap (napping is really only essential on her rough days..and today is one of them. Probably in part because it's one of my rough days too..but she's definitely pushing a lot of boundaries recently. And 'napping' (really just enforced time in her bed) is usually the easiest way to handle it. If anyone has another idea, I'm open to it!

 Smelling.. my tea has no real scent..it's a fasting tea, designed to help balance the body during a fast, and it really does help. So does fennel, but there's no fennel in this tea.  I don't really smell anything right now, not the tea, not the firewood, not the grapefruit and lavender essential oils I put into the laundry soap, nothing. It feels sort of empty.

Tasting..Fasting tea. What does it taste like? Medicinal..sort of; very 'herbal', very bland and balancing and quiet. 

 Listening.. to Luba scratch at the door, whining and barking..I won't let her in yet, she's been awful, and it's actually pretty warm out; and to Yarrow, singing her defiance song: "Eeeeeh, Eenh, this is my KINGDOM COME, this is my KINGDOM COME.." (she steals shamelessly from her radio favorites)

 Grateful... for a warming trend (I hope!!!!!!), and for some time to myself tonight to restore my peace.
 
Reading..Simcha Fisher's Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning..I'm not a fan, should I review books I don't like at all? I wouldn't think twice about it if I weren't biased against if from the start..I think I'm going to try within the next week, in the kindest way possible.

Loving..The whole season of Lent! Ash Wednesday aside, It's been a wonderful start. I went to confession Saturday, cleaned out the car, and felt indulgent eating fish at night; I've been less and less tempted to over-do it in cups of coffee without my amazing cream, and haven't been ignoring possibly problematic labels (did you know the grocery-store 'sushi' has egg in it!!!?? I was devastated.)

 Hoping..the good Fast lasts..the snow melts..The Fast is fruitful..
 
Working on..balance.

 

Quotidian Notes: Promised Warmth and Rebounding

I'm still recovering from the 7 days of blogging we did last week..as well as recovering from a return to normal schedule this week - I miss vacation! I miss having Seth home all day. Our goal for next winter is to actually take the whole winter off: Christmas through March. I'm determined to do it right this year.

Yarrow's Altar

It's 9 am and I'm only on my second cup of coffee - I consider that a win! But the Fast didn't begin well for me this year at all..Wednesday was not the delightfully focused and holy day I'd hoped for (all my own fault, really). I started back on focused Lent yesterday. Not with perfection, but with all the right steps. The house was clean, the altar refreshed, Yarrow and I started our Lenten Prayer time together, and I began to feel connected to the fast. I think it'll be a good season after all..a hard season - I've been too indulgent for too long; but a good and holy season, focused on love. 

It is a retreat season for me. A quiet time of reflection. But reflection and quite are a little too indulgent for me this season - so as I focus on love this Lent, I'll also be focusing on reaching out more to those I love. It would be so easy for me to stay tucked away with Seth and Yarrow and Luba..writing to dear friends occasionally and forgetting the world around me. But I'm to be in the world, unfortunately, and that calls me to reach out. So I'm searching for a balance. A way to live this worldly monasticism I need - avoid creating the hermitage I crave and step out sometimes. So we'll be writing more letters, Yarrow and I; walking down the road when the weather allows it; calling family and those poor, neglected friends of mine; and working into our prayer time a special time for her best-loved friends. We have a rock on her tiny altar from my sister and her husband. Yarrow loves it - she holds it and we pray for Ciocia Laura and Wujek Charles - we nestle their rock between Christ and His Mother, light a candle, and let them rest in Love.

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The Virgin is primary this Lent. I've devoted my year to her, and still I'm surprised at how she infuses herself. I've moved the family Icon to a more primary place on the altar. Today Petka and I will write out paper prayers to tuck around her like tiny birds. I'd love to add your intentions, if you'd like to share them. 

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I've finished my second cup - it's sort of devastating. I'm trying to keep to two cups a day. It's time to switch back to tea. I started the day with a small pot of Tulsi tea..holy basil..it is supposed to be energizing. Coffee is energizing. Tulsi is very nice though. Very fresh.

Is is wrong that I was thrilled to discover my Raw Jersey Cream would be unavailable throughout Lent (it's the slow season at the farm). No one can have it. I'm feeling impiously smug about the forced lenten fast for all Raw Cream addicts. I know it's wrong, but I am glad.

* * * *   * * * *

Today is a fasting day. We've had oatmeal with honey, pumpkin seeds, flax seed, and dried apricots - it's decadent for a fast day, but it has to last until supper. I fill up on tea instead - shooting covetous glances at the pot of soup from last night: Red lentils and curry, coconut milk, cinnamon, garlic. Na'an without oil so Seth can take it for lunch today. Rhythm is a gift. I'm more aware of the time. I know the day: Fridays belong to Paraskeva. We will leave her the small na'an Yarrow rolled out last night - lumpy and hard, but full of confident love.

* * * *  * * * * 

My Lenten series on Modesty begins this Tuesday! I'm really looking forward to absorbing the wisdom of the women around, opening up conversations, and growing together. Thanks for joining me in it!

Lenten Meals: Holy Week

I’m baking a lot this week. Early on, the baking is entirely penitential (in sort of an decadent way): Just lots of ciabatta and rye loaves. Holy wee is a time I like to up the Fast a bit, removing oil and alcohol entirely, and simplifying my meals to the extreme. This week I’m keeping it to grapefruit, oatmeal, bread, and soup..maybe some sunflower butter if I’m feeling a need for protein. Because Yarrow is still nursing, I can’t really go on a hardcore Holy Week fast, I need calories, but not too many, I want to really rejoice in the Easter season! Seth and Yarrow are bread-fiends.. They can never get enough. I love bread, but more the baking end than the eating..still, I want some leftover for my own meals, so today I’m baking a double batch (four largish loaves) of ciabatta and one recipe of rye (two sandwich loaves) to dip in my soup at lunch and dinner.

My favorite Ciabatta recipe is one I gleaned from Peter Reinhart’s The Breadbaker’s Apprentice. I don’t always follow the recipe now, but the basic idea is easy to grasp. It requires bread flour..the gluten, or proteins, or some aspect of the flour are essential to this bread being all open and beautiful. It also requires a long rising time - the sponge (or poolish as he calls it) sits out for 4 hours and then chills for an additional 8 hours..if you let it sit longer, you get a nice sourdoughy flavor, I’ve let mine sit out all day and then not chilled it, which works just fine, so don’t worry if you forget all about it overnight.

The Sponge

About 3 1/2 cups Bread flour

About 1/2 teaspoon yeast

About 2 cups water (neither hot nor cold - the kind Jesus spits out)

Mix it all together, cover (I usually use a clean, cloth napkin) and set to rise. After about 3-5 hours, chill in the fridge (or anywhere cold but not freezing) overnight..if you remember.

The Dough

The next morning, let the sponge warm up for about an hour, then add

About 1 1/2 teaspoons yeast

About 2 - 3 teaspoons salt

About 3 cups Bread flour

Enough water to make a soft, sticky dough - not unmanageable, but very sticky and ‘loose’ feeling..this totally depends on your humidity, your flour, and your sponge’s consistency, but usually ends up being between 3/4 a cup and 1 1/2 cups.

Kneed the dough for about 5-8 minutes, until it’s all smooth and all the flour has been incorporated. Turn it out onto a floured board (or your table) and let it rest for about 10 minutes, then stretch and fold the dough (fold is pretty self-explanatory). Let it rise for about 2 hours, fold again and let it rise again for another 1 1/2..Then sprinkle cornmeal on a baking sheet, and gently shape the dough into large (or small) loaves. Let them rise again for 30-45 minutes. Bake with the stove starting at 500, but turn it down (or dump on some wood to force it down, if you’re baking in a wood oven) and bake around 425-450 until the loaves are all golden on top and sound hollow when tapped - about 10 minutes in my stove. Let them cool to just warm before eating. They are amazing slathered in honey and butter.. But this is Holy Week, so don’t even think about it.

Lenten Updates

Oh Lent! Why does the earth have to match so well the spirit of the season? Grey skies, muddy roads, dirty snow, and sad, naked trees shaking in the wind. How picturesque.

~ Our spending fast is going well, which is absolutely necessary, as late winter has been full of storms, short work-days, and small paychecks. Tax returns haven’t returned yet and we’re waiting for the spring burst of work to begin. So, with the exception of Seth’s birthday money (dziękuję mamą i tatą!) we’ve had no money to ‘play’ with at all. Poor us! But really, who has fun in Lent anyway, right?

~ Fasting has been going well, and actually, I’m glad to see that Yarrow is not missing any of the animal products as much as I expected. We still give her cheese or yogurt when we can, but we aren’t buying any, and so it’s a rare treat for her. I’ve stocked up on Irish oatmeal, which is way better than rolled oats, and we’re loving our oatmeal more than ever! So are the chickens, who get the leftovers. Luba is miserable, as she doesn’t get bacon grease at all anymore. Maybe all the penance will keep her out of dog-purgatory though.

~ I’ve adopted Cardinal Giuseppe V_. I love him, he’s delightful, and he’s inspired me to reconnect with my pretty amber rosary (dziękuję laura!) and the Blessed Virgin. We’ve also managed to start a novena to St. Joseph just in time to finish on his feast-day! Lenten prayer is taking over!

~ There’s no way to deny that with all this self-denial, Friday night’s aren’t half as fun as they should be. But we’ve been having some subdued fun. Last Friday we set up the computer (fully charged) and watched Star Wars V & VI (we did have to top it off between them, but that gave us a chance to hear “Adventures in Odyssey” (a dorky night, I know, but so much fun!) and with dried fruit and nuts, we almost didn’t miss the popcorn..almost.

Lenten Birthday

Seth's birthday is almost always in Lent. Some years are rougher than others, but this year we were lucky. The day fell on a Saturday, and so we could eat our fill of fish!

For brunch, I made smoked salmon wraps with garlicy hummus, red onion, spinach, and avocado; and set them out with grapefruits, coffee, and juice.

We loved it!

Lenten Essentials

We eat somewhat repetitively during the Fast. But, after a couple months of too-much pork, it's actually a nice break. A chance to slow down and think things through. And a chance to rediscover old favorites. Here are a few foods that keep us going!

Beans:

We eat more beans in this season than anything else. Beans and rice, tomato-bean soup, spring-rolls with garbanzo beans mingled in..Beans are a delight to the Lenten soul.

Salsa Lizano:

I’m not 100% certain this is completely Lenten appropriate, but I think it is, my Spanish is not the best, and I don’t try too hard. I don’t know where you would find this, a friend supplies us, but it makes beans and rice The Best Meal Ever. If it fails - Lent-wise, it would only be due to vegetable oil (which is technically supposed to just be olive oil, so…)

Thai Rice Noodles:

They’re good with Everything, and they’re always acceptable.

Mustard:

Specifically, honey and mustard. I mix them together on wraps, dip spring rolls into them, or pretzels, or pour the mix on salads as a no-oil-day dressing.

Bagels:

Home-made bagels are God’s Lenten Gift to the world. They are allowable on all days, and can be eaten with anything, like honey and mustard!

Salsa:

On potatoes, tortillas (with other things), and in bean dishes. Salsa, though, makes me miss eggs sometimes.

Lentils:

Lentil stew is a fantastic and easy Lenten meal.

Oatmeal:

Most of our breakfasts in Lent are Oatmeal and half a grapefruit. It’s filling enough to get you through a long morning, and can be changed up with different spices. Recently, I’ve been making ours with honey, cardamom, and cinnamon. Tomorrow, I might add walnuts.

The Simplicity Project: Lent

I love lent. I look forward to it every year from Christmas until it begins. Each year we commit to a traditional Byzantine fast - a rhythm of eating that flows with the week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we are allowed no meat, eggs, dairy, oil, wine, or fish; Tuesday and Thursday we are allowed oil and wine, but no fish, meat, dairy or eggs; Saturday and Sunday we are allowed oil, wine and fish, but not meat, eggs, or dairy. And throughout the fast we avoid sugar and sweetness, except honey and molasses. I love the Lenten rhythm, it always gives me something to strive for and something to look forward to as we await Easter.

This year we are adding to our discipline a spending fast. While we will have to continue paying bills, buying gas and groceries, and paying for essentials, we are avoiding all other spending. My intention is to use this time to focus on Christ and on nurturing our domestic monastery in simplicity and beauty. I’m looking forward to a Lent full of beans and rice, black coffee, tea, long dark evenings at home, playing cards in the lamplight and preparing to greet Easter with fresh eyes. I’m going to use blogging to hold myself accountable, because, without it, I’m likely to sneak off to the store occasionally - so many weaknesses to overcome in life!