Ilya's Quilt

My parents have a lovely neighbor.

When Yarrow was born, she made a beautiful quilt - all blues and greens and summer-time woods. Yarrow adores her quilt-with-the-stars. She loves seeing the stars in the sky and knowing they come down to nestle with her in bed.

I grew up right next door to this woman, never knowing she quilted until she gave us Yarrow's quilt. Now she's sent along another for baby Ilya...and I'm thrilled and so grateful to her.

Ilya's quilt is huge! Not quite a 'baby' quilt at all, it would fit on a toddler bed easily. And like Yarrow's, it feels as though she's touched his soul in the making of it. It seems to belong with him - my late-winter baby. 

But right now, he's sharing with his sister..it fits her little bed so well after all! And she's so excited to share her quilt with him as well. They're an adorable pair - Yarrow and Ilya and right now, sharing is what they do best!

A Moment...

It's out of character for me..I know.

Generally, when strangers ask for a blog post about a topic, I just say no. I don't want my blog to become a platform. 

It's a quiet place, like my home, and I want to keep it that way. But, like my home, Piekno can become a place for discussion, a place to reach out from.

When a woman wrote to me, asking me to take a moment on Piekno to discuss mesothelioma, a rare and deadly form of cancer caused by exposure to asbestos, I agreed. I couldn't help myself. When she mentioned mesothelioma, my thoughts went back to a job my husband did a few years ago, gutting a building that - 'Surprise'- had asbestos in the walls. No one had mentioned it, because removing asbestos legally and carefully is expensive, time-consuming, and full of liabilities. Instead, they ignored it, and encouraged the workers to do the same. 

I thought of the legal and benefits issues my father worked on for years after his company bought a company riddled with mesothelioma lawsuits - a company that, perhaps like the managers of the building my husband demolished, thought the risks were over-blown and unrealistic.

But, like so many of the threats we create for ourselves..too often the risks aren't over-stated. Too often they're under-stated, under-appreciated, and we fail to protect ourselves and those who rely on us. Asbestos is not banned in America, and though there are laws that regulate the  removal of asbestos, I know from experience that those laws are not always followed or enforced. It's understandable, really, on some level - safe removal is expensive, and if, like most people, finances are a limiting factor for you, it's tempting to cut costs; especially for a disease that often doesn't appear for years after exposure, making it all to easy to ignore.

So, why did I decide to write about Mesothelioma, when I hardly ever write about anything outside my day-to-day life? I guess because I was reminded of the people behind the disease. 3,000 people are diagnosed each year. These are men like my husband, with tiny daughters who will miss them when they don't come home anymore; they're women who chat with us at cafes when we're out around town; retired grandfathers, looking forward to holding babies and reading 'Goodnight Moon' incessantly. And I'd like to see those people as they are, images of Christ, deserving of our love, and our recognition.  

Busy Days

This past week was crazy for us. My parents were up - visiting, playing, and chainsawing - The day they left, I spent the day (and night) at my in-laws, preparing the house and food for a baby shower we all threw for my dear sister-in-law, whose never had a baby-shower with her people, and so richly deserved one. This is her fourth baby, Petka’s cousins came up with their parents and quickly overwhelm Yarrow, who judges all older children against an impossible standard (her friend D_ whose love and kindness to here are seemingly unending). She spent most of Saturday nestled on either Seth or me, and trying to hold the effusiveness of her cousins off with a determined “No, no, NO!” It made me sad, because I like her to have a good relationship with her cousins, and left me hoping for visits at less exciting times, when her cousins are calmer and Yarrow is not so emotionally drained.

The party went really well! I was thrilled with some of the gluten-free recipes I tried out, and

thrilled with the look of the room, thrilled with the enthusiasm the guests showed for my sister and thrilled to leave when the party was winding down to head off to Portland for Seth’s newest tattoo! Yarrow, Luba, and I waited in the car and walked around outside (because Luba had spent most of the past two days alone and was in despair), so we didn’t get to watch, but we were delighted to see it and to head home again for well-deserved rest!

We’re still in resting mode today, with the rain and grey skies. I’m hoping to get out and see my sister soon, before she and the kids head back down south. Until then, I’m catching up on letters, cleaning the yard as the snow melts, and getting ready for true spring to come.

Homecoming

It is an absolute joy to come home after a weekend away, to a kitchen all set up for cooking (not finished, but working!), a neat house, and an amazing husband. Not to mention Luba, whose joy could not be contained. Yarrow and I visited her grandparents in Michigan all weekend, while my husband stayed home to make the house even more fantastic. I’m overjoyed!

 

 

City People

We’ve had the man from the city out here to draw up plans for a gray-water system. He’ll be back soon to redesign our outhouse as well. He was a very nice guy, and he’s being very helpful, but I’m frustrated by the local government’s involvement in our lives. I want them to stay away, to concern themselves with legitimate areas of their authority and not with my home. They mean well, I’m sure - like our code officer, the evaluator who just came is patient and friendly, and didn’t seem to mind that we currently weren’t up to code, but I can’t help be feel that as a decent person, he shouldn’t be working to enforce unnecessary requirements. It would have been nice to have stayed under the radar.

Bohemian Mama: Solitude

There are some days when Yarrow is an easy companion, riding along with her wide eyes, laughing and learning. Then there are other days, and on those days I long to get away. In one online forum I recently discovered that most mothers are lucky to get an hour a month of pure solitude. I was shocked, and more than ever, I was grateful to my husband, who gives me much more than that, and who does so not because he feels obligated, but because he wants the best for me, and wants the time with Yarrow. On the evenings I run off to use the computer, throw pots in the kitchen, or just get away to write, walk the woods, or nap at home while he and Yarrow wander. The downtime is essential to my own peace of mind, as is the solitude. It’s interesting to look at what the term “introvert” means to different people - I loved this take on it - and one of the principle misunderstandings I encounter is the assumption that a person is an introvert if she is shy and quiet, and an extrovert if she isn’t. The assumption has led too many people to label me (mistakenly) as an extrovert. My husband though, is well aware that I need my solitude in large and regular doses, and he does his best to protect and nourish that solitude - both the pure solitude of time to myself to think, create, and rest; and the pleasant “family solitude” of time spent alone with him and Yarrow - nurturing our little domestic church.

The importance of “family solitude” is something I work hard to remember and cherish. On most days, it’s something I don’t even think about - a natural part of life. Only when it’s interrupted - when we’re spending too much time running around, distracted, that I reach out consciously for “family solitude”. This past weekend, while the rain fell, we soaked up our time. The road in washed out, and so we nestled together with nothing to do but be. With coffee in the pot, pancakes on the table, and good books all around, we came through the storm washed clean, ready drain our sodden garden, store up the water against the dry days we hope will come, and go out again into the world.

Ticks of all sizes

According to popular wisdom, our warm winter has left us with an over-abundance of ticks, and already, I’ve found two, one trying desperately to climb my leg, the other, hoping for a bite on my husband’s knuckle. Ticks are difficult to kill - they don’t smash the way ants and spiders do, but tweezers and a cigarette lighter can work wonders. Deer ticks and dog ticks are pretty common up here. Deer ticks are the culprit’s in Lyme disease, as well as being smaller and harder to find. Luba’s had a few as well, though Yarrow’s managed to stay tick free so far. The chickens have been keeping our tick population down a bit, but we’re looking for some guinea hens to aid them in tick control. Guinea hens are supposed to be devastating to ticks. I hope so.

Last week, while checking for ticks and burning any we found, I answered a call from the biggest tick of all. Apparently, along with finding someone to draw up and approve building plans for an outhouse that already exists, and a gray-water system that will be absorbing all of 3 gallons of water a day, we need to get busy licensing our dog. So in addition to getting out to town hall pretty soon, I’m working hard to finish the front fence. The fence designed to keep people I don’t know from wandering in, it’ll have a gate and everything when it’s done, though, since it just covers the road access to the land, it’s more of a symbolic than physical deterrent.

New Year

We went out to Michigan and Ohio for New Year's, to visit family and stand as godparents for our good friends' new baby. The drive out was long, but Yarrow and Luba handled it well - sleeping a lot and giving us long stretches of drive time. We leave tomorrow for the drive home, I plan to be off early in the morning and be well into the drive before the sun rises, which out here isn't too difficult, the dawn is a good hour and a half later.

It's been a good trip, but I'm missing home more and more. The Christmas octave is my usual time to purge the house of excesses, to better incorporate gifts and keep the cozy winter atmosphere going. I know our tree needs water, and our chickens would like a chance to get out and scratch at the frozen ground. I know the house-spiders have been making cobwebs across the dome, and I'm looking forward to the scent of woodsmoke on my clothes again.

I'm looking forward to the drive as well. I love long drives with my husband. I love the frequent stops for truck-stop coffee and the radio stations that come and go as we pass through town after town.  But first I need to sleep off a late New Year's eve, reconnect with some old friends, and give long-delayed birthday gifts to my brothers.

Cold Nights

The wind blew in late autumn last night. We could here it beating the trees against each other and making the stars brighter against the cold sky.  The chickens fluffed up their feathers and slept close. The whole yard smelled of woodsmoke. We nestled in, with candles all around as the stove radiated comfort, dancing Yarrow to sleep with Gotan Project and Bruce Springsteen. The night was lovely.

Tonight will be colder, I can feel it already. We came in to town today for more candles, kerosene for the lamps and to sip tea among people. I fell into a conversation with three, angry older folks. The want the protestors to become violent, they want riots and punishments for lawyers and wealthy men. The sky seemed grayer when they left. But Yarrow nestled in, clutching her scarf a little closer, while the folks behind the counter laughed and talked of Halloween, coffee, and quiche; normal returned, and I tried to love the angry ones. I suppose its easy to want violence from armchairs in cozy cafes, harder to want it when you are faced with another person.

The cabbage is almost ready to pick. Chard is a coninual blessing, still growing. The beets can come out anytime, I'm storing them in the ground until I get an opportunity to make borsch. Home is cozy, Yarrow's nameday on Friday is an exciting anticipation.